Be Smart, Be Like Mariam, Be Like Bill, Be Like Who?

Over the past few days, you ought to have been introduced to Bill, the stick-man who has been given the enormous task of telling the whole world how to behave. You might have seen all sorts of ridiculous memes with Bill as the subject matter. I have pooled a few below, in case you haven't seen any- meaning you might have been under a rock for the past few days.

When I first met Bill, it appeared as if the point of the meme was to somewhat tell everyone how best to behave online. So Bill will advise you not to be a movie spoiler, not to invite your Facebook friends to play candy crush, or advise you not to troll anonymous people on the internet because you disagree with them.

As the days went by and I observed Bill more, I noticed that Bill's terms of reference had extended beyond advising us about internet culture and behavior, to advising us generally about what should be acceptable behavior. Bill now has an opinion about everything, from how you walk your dog to how you conduct yourself at the gym. No wonder some people think Bill is rather smug.

Bill has received mixed reactions, and some people have reacted so violently to Bill, that they have asked Uma Thurman to kindly kill Bill.

I find these memes extremely funny, but they got me thinking about the fact that whether or not we want to admit it, society expects a certain level of conformity. This made me question whether we really need to conform or behave like Bill, or Mariam or anyone else for that matter. My conspiracy theorist persona will go ballistic and say that Bill is an end of age conformist agent, trying to subconsciously alter our perspective on acceptable behavior (just kidding!)

I admit that there is a certain level of conformity that is required, but rather than label it conformity, I would rather say that there is a certain level of consideration that is required from us by society. So I think Bill is right to advise  you not to play loud music on the train in consideration of the comfort of others, but outside scenarios where we have to be considerate of others, we have no obligation to listen to Bill, especially when he seems to be stifling our individuality. When this happens, our adherence to Bill's advice should end because part of the beauty of humanity is that fact that we are all so different. 

Different things excite us, and we should not be caged to celebrate only one type of different. If you are a foodie and you are excited to share your food experiences on your timeline, then it shouldn't matter that there is another foodie on your timeline who will have the same experience as you , but choose not to share it. The fact that you travel around the world and you don't post pictures, doesn't make you more polished or better than those who do, it only means you are different from them. So I appreciate Bill to the extent that he informs us about how best to take others into consideration when we act, but beyond that, I will gladly tell Bill to shove his opinion in an undesirable place. 

Bill is just a symbol of society, made up of you, me, our friends and family. We are always silently watching, silently judging, silently castigating others for expressing their inner selves, because we don't agree with them, understand them or sometimes because we are not as bold as they are.

Let us be considerate of each other, but please let us celebrate our differences, quirks and strange little things that make us stand out from the next person. You can wear your hair long, short, in dreads or twists and Bill should not have an opinion on that. Be considerate, but don't be like Bill, or like Mariam, be like YOU!

This is my best meme so far on the be like Bill trend. I burst out laughing when I saw this.
#20slove

Hello, my name is ... and we need to talk.

"Why are you fearful, O you of little faith"

Hello you. I know we just met this morning, but I also know that you have been expecting me for a while. You on the other hand, have been on my mind for way longer than a while. I know we are just starting this relationship, so I apologize for already hitting you with the classic "we need to talk" line. But I feel we need to have this discussion early because I heard some things about you from all your exes, and it is only fair we discuss them now so that we can begin our relationship on the right note.

Let's Get High?

Worry not family, friends and well wishers, I don't do drugs and you shouldn't too, but this doesn't mean that I can't still get high on other addictions. Today, I'm talking about destination addiction.

Let me digress a little bit before I take you to rehab. You see, I like being online because of the sense of community that comes with the internet. The fact that I am simultaneously connected to someone in Seoul, who is trying to figure out whether the infamous 2015 dress is blue or gold is pretty cool to me (remember that *g** dress lol). My daily internet rummage sometimes produces gold, particularly when I find that someone has perfectly articulated a thought I have been struggling to articulate for a while. Sometimes, it is almost as if the universe understands my struggle and decides to use her invisible hand of mental connection to transpose the elusive thought to the mind of another of her wards. The universe then decides that she is not done, and she guides my iPhone scrolling fingers to the very online spot where the thought has been articulated and kept for me. This picture reflects one of those thoughts, and it deals with destination addiction. 

Aspire to a great future, but not at the expense of the present.

Take your Miss Bulgaria into 2016 with you.

Even if we already know what to do, we always look for that one friend who will push us to do it! Well done Miss Bulgaria

I'm not even going to try to be intellectual with this post, (yeah right lol) I'm just going to share my Miss Universe kick with you.

You must have read about Steve Harvey's mistake of announcing Miss Columbia as Miss Universe, instead of Miss Philippines. I can barely imagine the trauma Miss Columbia is having at the moment, and I only pray she rises above it soon and even shines as a result of it.

However, my dear friend, did you notice Miss Bulgaria? She came out straight to tell Miss Philippines to get her pretty self over there to take her crown! I saw the picture above with the caption and simply had to write about it. It is not normal for a beauty queen in her own right to do what Miss Bulgaria did, and I need to break this down to you. You see, beauty queens are supposed to be composed and untouchable in their glowing ethereal beauty, irrespective of the situation. You are not supposed to think about Agbani Darego, the first black Miss World and imagine her licking her fingers after demolishing a  well prepared plate of pounded yam and egusi soup. No way! Agbani can only be imagined sitting in a corner, wearing Dolce and Gabbana (don't dull). Yes, beauty queens portray an image of unattainable beauty (a story for another day) but that is the image they have been programmed to portray, and to have Miss Bulgaria break that stereotype in order to encourage another queen is really refreshing and inspiring.

Hello Nigerian Law School

Hi guys. I got invited by a group of students who are going to the Nigerian Law School in a few weeks to share a few tips on surviving law school. I put pen to paper and came up with this. I decided to share with you and I hope you can forward this to as many people who will be facing this challenge in the coming months. Enjoy.

Congratulations! You are about to embark on a very challenging and interesting journey. However, before I talk about the future, I think it is important for us to look at the past. You have just survived at least 4 years in the university studying law. You definitely went through interesting experiences while you were at university. You did ridiculous overnight reading before your contracts exam, you successfully completed a final year project that at some point you thought you might never complete, you survived the dreaded computer science course and those somewhat unnecessary courses you had to take in the Psychology department. Essentially, you conquered many challenges in order for you to be here and for that I say a big congratulations.

Her Evolution.

She thought it was just a regular stomach ache. Those had been consistent for a while now. However for some reason she could not explain, she knew this one was different. "What is this feeling" she asked herself. She felt like she had severely overeaten and her hurting stomach was her punishment. She no longer felt comfortable in the silvery body hugging long-sleeved night dress she had on, and to make it worse, she could barely move to find a more comfortable position. 

She tried to remember if she had felt like this before. Her memories were always vivid, and she knew that if she had ever felt like this, she would remember. Her memories kept her company a lot these days, but it was not always like this. She remembered so many things about a more eventful past and remembered them so very well. She remembered when she would crawl on the floor of the playgroup, picking scraps of anything she thought was food, and stuff them into her ever busy mouth. She was slightly fatter than the other kids in the playgroup, but she didn't care because she was smarter and more athletic than the rest- athleticism being measured by her ability to reach corners of the playground that the others hadn’t discovered, and of course, her ability to stuff what she termed forgotten bits of happiness into her mouth. She remembered the taste of those little bits of happiness, some dewy, some fresh and some quickly spat out to avert a taste bud catastrophe.

He liked my Instagram picture from 34 weeks ago... does this mean he likes me?

This time, I am asking for your advice on a very serious issue. What is acceptable social media etiquette these days? We face social media dilemmas everyday, or at least I do.  Is there a rule-book on what is acceptable or not?

Social media is getting increasingly complex. With Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Pinterest, Snapchat and so on actively vying for our attention, it is increasingly difficult to know what is socially acceptable or not. Let us take Instagram as an example. Apparently, it's okay for someone you just added to immediately like all your pictures, including that picture of a random stone you took 34 weeks ago, during your failed attempt at nature photography. However if that same person doesn't immediately get high on the steroid of your Instagram approval and like your old pictures within the acceptable time-frame of about an hour or two (or is it a day?), and then makes the unforgivable mistake of coming back to your page two weeks later to like your pictures, the person qualifies to be labelled a stalker or a potential love interest, depending on how attractive they are. This thing is so complex, even my tenses are getting all skewed. 

Your Opinion is Valid.

Be warned, inspiration can come from anywhere.

No matter what your natural inclination is after the 3rd paragraph, please keep reading, I promise there is a point, as always.

When an idea drops into my mind, I immediately write it down. I once heard a saying that the faintest pen is sharper than the brightest brain, or something around those lines. The saying encapsulates the idea that writing down even the skeleton of your thoughts, once they come to mind, is a good way to retain the authenticity and freshness of that thought.

This post is borne out of one such thoughts. Birthed after I put myself through the sweet torture of re-watching the movie "Marley and Me" at 3.00 AM on a random day. In order for this post to make more sense, I need to give a little bit of background. You see, I love dogs. I really do. I think they are not only man's best friends, but are intelligent creatures whose loyalty and love truly overwhelm me. I always had dogs growing up, but I had a very special dog called Snoop (I am sure I will do a whole post on Snoop someday). Anyway, this movie, featuring Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson was the worst movie I could have re-watched on my own, because the dog in the movie, (Marley -in case you haven't already guessed) was a whitish-yellowish Labrador, while my Snoop was a whitish-yellowish Alsatian, so both had similar physical features. Beyond the physical, both dogs also exhibited terrible puppy destructive syndrome, and reveled in the joys of chewing shoes, messing up the compound, tastefully chewing through new clothes in the laundry basket with the hope of creating a vintage rag look, running into the mud immediately after receiving a bath, amongst other unprintable but highly memorable evils. Marley becomes an integral part of the family in the movie, just like how Snoop became an integral part of mine, for almost 12 years. At the end of the movie, Marley dies, just like my Snoop died in the year 2012.

This is Marley's definition of GLORY! Snoop was not this bad, I promise.

The 20's guide to Endings and Beginngs.

Today we have a very special 20's diaries session with two amazing women I met on my academic sojourn in Cambridge. Tomi is a multiple award winning lawyer who runs a fantastic lifestyle blog, and Hannah is an incredibly talented art curator, who also runs a blog to exhibit her art.

I am inspired by these two lovely ladies, particularly as I am confident that they are on their way to huge achievements. As the "famzer" that I am ( ha ha, I actually mean "networker"-see the 20's guide to famzing here), after our final examinations, I invited them over for  dinner and we decided to shoot a video, telling you what we feel about endings and beginnings. 

This is a screen shot from a silly video Tomi and I shot on our way to dinner. The content is too ridiculous for viewing!

Customary post-dinner photo, with the Clare College crest in the background. #charliesangels

I just want to tell you about my restaurant in...SPACE.

One of the hazards of the twenties is sharing your next bright idea with someone. I refer to it as a hazard because even though sharing new ideas is an unavoidable rite of passage, it sometimes comes with weird reactions, particularly from people you consider to be in your inner circle. So you have a fabulous new idea of opening a restaurant in space, or creating a device that allows you to read people’s minds through their smile, or creating a whole new genre of music just like Fela did; but when you shared this idea with a significant person in your life, they just went “Err, this can’t work.” It seems completely ridiculous to you that someone you trust and hold in high esteem cannot see the appeal of a “spaceturant” and in as much as you might feel upset about that, I think the most likely feeling you would have is discouragement.